the vidz

Bulletproof by La Roux

I love La Roux.

I’ve heard that she is one of the worst on stage performers but I think that’s part of her charm. They’re fun electronic dance tunes but she doesn’t feel the need to jump around like an idiot. She sings and she sings well and that’s all the song needs.

Mostly though, I love her because she looks like every trendy bisexual hipster you see out on a Thursday night, but her songs are so, well, girlie. She sings about all those typical issues that girls have with boys. And sure she doesn’t sing it in a typical way, but - particularly in this song and in I’m Not Your Toy - the issues that she’s singing about are so relatable on such a basic level that it makes the music that much more interesting and enjoyable. To see a cool chick, dressing how she wants and doing what she wants, being strong and proud but still going through that basic “why doesn’t he like me? why have I let this happen again” thing that we all go through, makes you feel so much better about sharing these problems than doing so with a Britney or Beyonce type.

As for this clip, it’s not amazing. The concept is a great idea but the actual execution? 3 minutes and 26 seconds of La Roux walking against a green screen gets a little tedious But then again, if this is the beauty of er music and her person then it fits right in. The music can speak for itself. It doesn’t need anything flashy or over the top choreography. The colours and aesthetic suit what La Roux is about to a tee and her lack of expression just furthers the point of the lyrics.

Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a video that has had this effect on me. And, coincidentally (or not) I think the last music video I watched and wanted to cry because it was so beautiful was the last 30 Seconds to Mars clip.

I know I’ve “reviewed” The Kill on here before and mentioned, along with other 30STM clips, Jared Leto’s pretentiousness. But it is so forgivable when he produces art works like this one. I cannot wait until this man starts directing film. I’ve never known anyone to have such an eye for colour and framing and cinematography. Most impressively though, this is all combined with a story -“The Ride” - to bring the music together with the images, the amazing landscapes, and the characters within the film.

I don’t know what the deal with the horse is, but like the rest of the clip, I can forgive it for it’s beauty. The clip ends so perfectly too, with the riders heading towards the pier, and a gorgeous cut away from the bicycle wheels without actually seeing them slow down. Like a deep sigh with a smile, it may seem depressing but it’s going to be ok.

Ok, so there a still few elements of wankiness. You probably don’t need 3 minutes of credits for a 6 minutes clip, and there are some very unsubtle “look! Jared Leto is like Jesus!” moments but you can’t help be overlook them and just be entirely absorbed into the atmosphere of the riders, their purpose, their destination - whatever it may be.

Even if it means nothing. Even if the point is just moving on, getting up, not giving in.

Safety Dance by Crazy Frog

Sorry to sound like the internet but, HOW IS THIS EVEN RELEVANT ANYMORE?

Honestly, who is still buying this (who bought it in the first place?)? Ok, so mixing this horrid noise with the Beverly Hills Cop theme and making a video where they had to blur out the little cartoon penis to actually show it on tv was cute back when they still advertised polyphonic ring tones as a plus. But now, it’s just embarrassing to the music industry that this thing (which doesn’t even look like a frog!) has had 3 albums, 8 singles and a DVD (thanks wiki).

But in the end, whether it’s the original with bonus midgets or giant robots playing guitars and throwing flames at “frogs” dressed like a Village Person, who doesn’t love Safety Dance? And this clip is one of the more bearable Crazy Frog videos. It has a (pointless) storyline and good vs bad subtext going on. I’m still not paying $5.95 for it.

The novelty of Crazy Frog was originally to piss off everyone around you with that irritating noise. Mixing a few random road runner ‘meep!’s into an established song that’s not even sung as well as the original has much less appeal.

Warning: watch out for the re-release of Crazy Frog Christmas Specials.

Armand Van Helden & A-TRAK Present Duck Sauce - aNYway

Just quickly, a lot of bands have tried this. No one has done it better.

The Captain by Biffy Clyro

I need help with this song. I can’t decide if I like it or not. It’s ok music, I guess? Not really my thing but I can stand to listen to it. I suppose if it was ever on the radio, I’d never pay attention to it. But it’s not bad, right?

The clip however, I am in love with. Ignore the song (very easily done) and this video is just beautiful. Ok, so it’s quite melodramatic and I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the lyrics or the storyline (I would if I listened to the words) but it is so well done. Incredibly cinematic but just stopping short of being over the top.

It really does just boil down to some beautiful cinematography, paired with an amazingly well cut together edit. Particularly the switching between the warm daylight story telling scenes and the darker shots of the band playing on the bow of this amazingly crated ship.

In a time where pirates (along with zombies, vampires, ninjas?) are, for some reason “cool”, Biffy Clyro have made a stunning video without playing up to the stereotypes we see in blockbuster movies (except maybe with the eyeliner).

Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus

At the risk of sounding like the conservative grandmother I will one day turn into, kids shouldn’t look like this. Ok, so she’s not 13 anymore (she’s 17 so it’s all legal), but she’s still Disney. And still marketed to those 13 year olds (and younger) and as such, excuse me, but I really don’t think I need to see that much boob or that much leg on a Disney star.

Constantly doing that “sexy” grabbing the hair thing, and those Beyonce moves, the whole thing just makes me uncomfortable. Am I meant to be turned on by her? Surely there are some moral issues surrounding that (besides, if I want Miley soft porn I can just google image search it).

Look, I’m anti-censorship and all for self expression and all the rest, I just don’t think 16/17 year olds should look like this (or this or this), especially when you are being marketed to impressionable youths.

But who cares anyway, right? It’s Miley Cyrus and both this song and video are crap. What’s with the giant American flag? The song is already called ‘Party in the USA’ - we know where you are, Miley. Until you move into a cage/child’s playground - what does that have to do with the song or the narrative of the video? Oh, it’s just a different location for you to dance like a slut? Oh ok then.

So in essence, Miley’s target audience has moved from tweens to red-neck truckers and from selling a playful youth to selling… well, a different kind of playful youth.

Uprising by Muse

I have never really felt any affinity towards Muse. I’ve seen them live and quite like the songs that have reached radio airplay but never enough to buy (or even pirate) a whole album. I’ve always had a general non-chalant attitude towards them which only got worse now that one of the songs I liked will constantly remind me of vampire baseball.

It seems like I’ve know for ages that Muse are only ever meant to be in a huge arena, busting out those extended guitar solos to a huge audience - half of whom can’t see because they are sitting so far away. But apparently Muse have only realised this with their fifth album and are now playing everything if they were constantly in that imaginary arena.

Yet, I am still not sure if they are ripping off older artists (Queen, Blondie etc) or if they are paying homage and making themselves - as one reviewer said - “the new Queen.” Part of me wants to write them off as only becoming popular by riding the coattails of timeless bands. But doing covers of Michael Buble or pulling stunts like this when asked to lipsync on tv make the band that much more endearing that I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they have worked hard to get to where they are.

But ok, on to this clip. I must say, while there is probably not enough going on to fill out the length of the song, just the idea of riding through a tiny model town on a flatbed truck while giant teddy bears terrorize a village that is being burnt to the ground is beyond brilliant. The whole use of explosives to emphasize exactly what is mentioned above. Muse finally exploding their way into the lives, ears, radios and hearts of people that would not normally listen to them.

And the evil teddy bears! While using tiny model people takes the violence out of the clip, there’s nothing like softening the delivery of a ‘stand up to authority’  message like turning the evil dictators into a warped version of your childhood.

There are probably a few too many close ups of Matt Bellamy’s face for my liking but all round, it’s an amazing video.

Weightless by All Time Low

Unashamedly displaying my love for generic pop-punk right now but the All Time Low boys do it perfectly.

It took them 3 albums to get it to this level but finally, a whole album of pop-punk able to hold the kids attention for it’s length and then press repeat.

That being said, the video can probably be summed up by the term ‘smart arse.’ It starts off amusingly enough, labeling the groupies to the satisfaction of the underage/ugly/overweight fan girls that want to believe “their boys” dont care about the leggy blondes that line up for them back stage, but it declines into a hypocritical mess when there is just too much text to read. Plus, for 4 boys who actively use Twitter, it’s a bit stupid to pay it out in a music video. But for some reason, you forgive it all. Whether it’s because the band are also paying themselves out or because the words ‘nothing personal’ are plastered all over this video and the album (as if that gives them the right to be offensive) or maybe you just have no choice but to forgive Alex Gaskarth when he smiles.

The surprise Pete Wentz & Mark Hoppus is cute, gimmicky and brings the lolz enough to bring the clip overall to a cute gimmick that you can’t help but grin at.

Kill That Bitch by @m8er

……..

What? WHAT???

What was that???

The worst part about this is: it’s serious. Universal music is actually promoting this. It’ll be airing on Australian TV next weekend. Actually, that’s the worst part - this girl is Australian. I am so ashamed.

I don’t want to like music if this is what passes for music these days.

@m8er (that is, “Amber” - fucking edgy, right?) is being touted as Australia’s cross between Lady Gaga and Lily Allen. WHAT? Which Lady Gaga and Lily Allen are YOU talking about? @m8ber is - at best - the devil spawn of Blossom and Sporty Spice… recently out of a failed anger management class.

Honestly, if this is music these days, I want to be on her list of bitches to kill.